What makes him special
by Lionheart 39
Summary: Thirteen is in despair. Everyone expects too much. There was only one person who really understood she was fallible and who excepted her for who she was. She needs his comfort!


She couldn't take this any longer, they all expected too much. They expected her to be infallible, expected her to pull the proverbial rabbit out of the hat. She wasn't supposed to be, unsure, afraid, lost! She was the Doctor!

There had only ever been one person who understood that she didn't have the answers to every problem. One person who hoped she could help but never expected miracles. One person who often doubted her but never blamed her. Even Susan had thought Grandfather was invincible.

And he was the one person who understood she needed comfort and had given it without expectation of too much in return. He never reproached her for leaving him. Always welcoming her back on her flying visits. Always willing to supply the comfort she needed. In later life he had married and received the love he deserved to have. She had been frightened that this change would alter her relationship with him. But it hadn't. He had come to her and given his support. Then later he had taken them home to meet his wife. Late at night when they were on their own, his wife, Doris, Ace, Anceyln and Bambera in their beds, he had held her, eased her doubts and encouraged her to go on.

Now with everything that had happened she needed his reassurance, she needed his comforting arms. She knew it couldn't happen too often, she was breaking all those rules of time and space. But she knew he knew about the rules and never told her about her other selves visits. One weekend when he had been in need of comfort her third self had given it. He hadn't been, what was it Benton called Yates, 'A Mans, Man!' No the Brigadier had always been an admirer of the females of his species. But the Doctor was a Time Lord, he had explained that' Time Lord sexuality' was flexible. Explaining that he shouldn't be worried about the attraction he felt towards his friend. She still remembered Alistair's eyebrow almost touching his hairline, when he had understood at any regeneration she could become female.

"Well bless my soul, Doctor, that would be a sight to see!"

The one thing she had always admired about him was how open minded he was. As a Colonel trapped in the underground surrounded by robotic Yeti he had been willing to believe in a 'Spacecraft' shaped like a police box!

The visits had to be short, only after the time war had she spent more than a day with him. Then it hadn't been her choice that she had stayed so long. The TARDIS had taken her to Alistair and the TARDIS had refused to let her back inside until she had been healed enough to go on. Doris, had glimpsed their relationship and she knew it had worried her. But Doris had come to understand that it didn't threaten her position in Alistair's affections. But Doris's relief when she had said she was leaving was palpable, so she had always tried to choose times when Doris wasn't around.

She had left her companions sleeping in the bunker. She would be away only a few of their minutes, but she could stay with him as long as she needed.

Today she was going back close to when her fourth self had left. She didn't know if it would be a good choice. Her fourth self had not treated Alistair well. She never understood why she had been like that with him. She had often sensed his hurt over their changed relationship. Her mocking reproaches, her intolerable arrogance, the put downs she had given him in front of his men! How she hated herself for doing that to him!

He was working late, he was tired, his whole body ached from the battle they had fought against the Haemovores. But he had only lost four men! What did he mean only, one man lost was one too many! He heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS. He sighed deeply that was all he needed tonight, some mocking remarks about his inadequacies as a commanding officer, some comments about his lack of intelligence. He stood up and winced. He angrily grabbed the crutches that were lent against the desk. Something else for the Doctor to laugh about! Well at least Miss Smith would be sympathetic!

The TARDIS had just stopped making that terrible noise as he got into the lab, the doors had opened and he stood waiting for the buck toothed curly haired man to exit!

A young woman in slightly outlandish dress exited the TARDIS. Her eyes looked haunted and he knew immediately that this was the Doctor!

"Well, bless my soul Doctor, you've finally gone and done it! I must say I do approve!"

She had laughed in a brittle way. Her laughter so close to tears. Then she saw his battle worn state and her hearts nearly stopped. He was hurt both physically and, looking into his eyes she knew, mentally. Her former self had let this happen to him. In fact her former self hadn't even known about this. What else had happened to him she hadn't been aware of over the years?

She flew into his arms, the tears in her eyes falling, his embrace was tight and his body so warm and comforting. She felt herself relaxing as he held her. She felt him also getting relief from their closeness.

As she looked up at him his mouth descended towards hers and they shared a kiss like no other she had ever experienced. Even at the Academy, when she and the master had been as one, she had not experienced the intense feeling she got from this kiss.

Her body was reacting to it so violently. She had never experienced anything like this. His body was also reacting. She felt his erection against her and knew that this visit would be the best ever. She pulled him backwards into the TARDIS.

The were laid together in the bed that had been just inside the door when they fell inside. So this was what human love making felt like. It was incredible, she had always pitied humans because they would never see the wonders of the cosmos, but they didn't need to because when they were with the right person this most basic of reproductive acts was more wonderful then anything she had ever experienced before. Even with Rose, it hadn't been this good. Rose had expected too much and she had been trying too hard not to fail Roses expectations. But this, it had just happened and two people had created bliss.

When he woke up she had told him about her last encounter with the Master, about almost losing everything, about what she had seen on Gallifrey. He had stroked her hair and reassured her that what had happened wasn't her fault. That what her species was didn't define her. Her actions were what made her the Doctor. He said that her hands, like his, were not clean but at least her soul was. She did things hoping they were the right things. Just as he had always done, but there was never any guarantee they would succeed.

"So what should I do now Alistair?" she asked.

"You go back, you tell your companions that you are sorry that they were put at risk, tell them that you care for them and that you trust them and need them. Then you ask them if they want to go home."

She looked at him horrified!

"And if they do I'll be alone!" she said frightened at the prospect.

He smiled at her, "Doctor you are never alone for long. How could you be? You are the Doctor, there will always be people wanting to share your adventures. And remember You can always come back to me as a last resort."

"Oh Alistair, why won't you come with me?"

"Very tempting Doctor, especially with you in this body, but if I did, I would be just another companion. While I resist that role I remain something special in your life!"

They made love once more and she knew there would never be anyone in her universe that would hold such a special place as Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart!


End file.
